Towards the latter part of last year, I was writing about all the rides and theme parks that I love, and it got me thinking… What about writing about my least favourite rides? You know those rides that you just want to avoid at all costs because of how awful or rubbish they are.
I’m sure what I include in this list may not be the same for some people, but that’s fine. Everyone has different tastes and opinions of rides, but you are sure as hell not going to get me back on these rides… maybe.
INFUSION | BLACKPOOL PLEASURE BEACH
Does anyone have anything good to say about SLC’s? I don’t know what it is about these types of coasters but they are painful. To be fair there are some smoother SLC’s out there in the world but no matter how hard you brace yourself for all the inverted elements, you get flung about. I personally don’t find it enjoyable and in some cases get a headache – that’s NOT fun for a coaster enthusiast. We want enjoyment and to come off a ride without a headache preferably! I think I’ll just watch and take photos of Infusion with the pretty fountains below.
COBRA | TIVOLI FRIHEDEN
Where do I even begin with this thing… I had read reviews of it being awful before I went to visit Tivoli Friheden but I was not expecting it to be THAT awful. There is not much to say other than, it’s a +1… it’s probably not worth the cred to be honest. I’ve ridden fairly rough coasters in my time but this one is probably on the same level of awfulness as a Volare, and they’re bloody awful as well! It was painful and horrible and I have NO intention of re-riding it, or a clone of it. Nope. Not a chance.
FURIUS BACO | PORTAVENTURA
Or Furious Backache as I would like to refer to it. Some people do actually enjoy this ride, and I don’t know why. Intamin tried to do a ‘Wing-Rider’ coaster and it just doesn’t work for this. The only good part about the ride is the launch and then the rest of it is shakiness beyond belief. Ladies, if you’ve got boobs, you might wanna brace yourself cause you may find your ladies might be popping out at points if you are not careful! (I was okay on this coaster but Stampida… that’s another story for another blog post!) I don’t feel I can bring myself to ride it again if I make a return visit to PortAventura, maybe you’ll find me in the wine gift shop at the exit.
TEMPLE OF THE NIGHT HAWK | PHANTASIALAND
Boring. Dark. Nothing. This ride is just dull as anything with way too many lift hills, and it’s too long. Way too long for what it is. If you want to sit down for a good couple of minutes whilst you go round a few helixes at a time, then this is a great ride for you. Otherwise, it’s boring. If you’re lucky enough to be sat on the brake run for a little while, you might be able to hear the sounds of Hollywood Tour beneath you. Phantasialand needs to be rid of it and revamp this area entirely.
VOLARE | WIENER PRATER
This is one of the worst rides I’ve ridden. Truly awful. I wish I bought the on-ride photo because it just showed the pain I had to experience. It isn’t comfortable for anybody, ladies and gents alike, it’s a pain in the arse to get into the ride and the ride experience isn’t great, at all. The lift hill is alright but from there is when the pain truly begins. Every single turn was painful, your neck and back won’t ever feel the same again. Would I do another one for the +1? I’ll get back to you on that. Sometimes creds are worth the pain but for a Volare… I don’t know. If you like these things by the way, you need to re-evaluate what you class as a good coaster because they are not good.
HERO | FLAMINGOLAND
I don’t think I need to add anything more to this other than, it’s awful. Not as bad as the Volare in Wiener Prater but it is still awful. What theme park would be in their right mind to think building one of these was a good idea? Then again, this is Flamingoland. I’m just adding this here because I do not rate this ride. If I could give it a 0/10, I would. Also, those smiles in the picture are not of enjoyment. Don’t kid yourself into thinking this ride is fab.
ATMOSFEAR | LISEBERG
Now, I don’t mind drop towers and will happily go on them just to say I’ve done them. Atmosfear however… is 1: a bit meh and 2: too tall for my liking. It’s so slow getting up to the top – yes, the view is pretty and you get to admire the city of Gothenburg for a couple of minutes, but I prefer a drop tower that’s done in like a minute or so. It’s too slow when it gets to the top so in some ways I get bored. The anticipation dies off as I get halfway to the top and by then, that when I want the drop to happen. Atmosfear just doesn’t do it for me, give me a coaster any day of the week.
SKY SCREAM | HOLIDAY PARK
I rode this back in 2014 and I didn’t quite know what to expect from a Premier Rides Sky Rocket 2, but let me tell you this… This ride killed my shins! Those restraints are horrible. If you’re short, I feel you will be just fine in the ride seat but for us tall lads and lasses, your legs are going to suffer. And at Holiday Park, no matter what position you sit in to make it comfortable on your shins, the staff will staple you in. The ride experience was okay, it wasn’t mind blowing and I certainly didn’t come off thinking, ‘Wow, that was amazing!’ It’s just, okay. You go forwards then backwards then forwards to do the whole ride circuit then back into the station. It’s a +1 and that’s about it.
This list is mostly coasters but I’m sure there are a few flat rides that have skipped my mind, maybe because they are just so bad I wanted to erase them from my mind. Obviously I’m not saying that if you ‘enjoy’ these rides, you are wrong! No, if you like these rides, great! You ride what you want to ride, and I’ll just leave you to enjoy these rides on this list… whilst I enjoy some of the better rides. *wink*
That’s all for now.